You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize