Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
