Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
