Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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