You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
