We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
