I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
