Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm passing your future prison.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize