Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
