Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
