I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
