Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
