I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
