Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
