It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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