Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
