You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
