No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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