Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
