Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
