u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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