did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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