Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i wish my penis had a tongue
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's blow job season.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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