Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
