i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
