none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
