I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
