Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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