Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
