i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
