we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
