Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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