is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
