Do you still have your period?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
