So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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