What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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