So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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