The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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