just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
