How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
