My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
