I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
