The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
