So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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