So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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