Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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