Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
