I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
