If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
not ubering you a puppy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How does it feel to date your dad?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
