Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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