got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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