I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
