I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
