Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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