I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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