Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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(407): View more from Florida

Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

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(913): View more from Kansas

My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup

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(901): View more from Tennessee

The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.

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