Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
