My nipple is on Facebook.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
