I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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