Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize