I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
