I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it's like iHOP with fire
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
