One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
