Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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