i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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