I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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