Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Congratulations! We have a period
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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