I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
