seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
