Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
